Such a Headache

the phone won't stop ringing but is just kids who want to know how much they owe or how to get to the beach. I have only had a smidgeon of caffeine and my head is in a vice here...

The first Rose of Spring

It's barely spring and we already have our first rose! I cut it this evening on the way back from paying the waterbill. could our ancestors believe we pay for water?

Would they think it was a good deal? I mean it was free for Great Granpappy Zebadiah, but he had to hike down to the river and haul it ack in a bucket. One bucket at a time. It might take an hours work for 5 gallons of water and we pay about a tenth-of-a-cent per gallon for it to come into our house. If you make twenty dollars an hour and it takes an hour to get five gallon buckets from the river to your house that would be $5 per gallon.

Sounds like we got zeb beat all to heck on the cost of water - and there's hardly any bugs in it either!

Boohbah's Back - i think

So last night about 3am I was awakened in a start.
I had been dreaming of the freakin' Boohbah! I changed channels on the TV to 113 - nice boring history stuff. I gave Seachele a peck and nestled all snug.

BOOOOOOOBAAAAAAAAH!

What the heck? I wasn't even asleep yet and already I'm letting this thing get to me. It was still going - the whole boobah song. I got up and looked around partly to make sure I was awake and partly to make sure boohbah hadn't come back as an evil ghost boohbah (i've read about them but didn't believe it) to suck my brain out while I slept.

nothing

I turned on every light in the house and looked in every closet. I checked the dogs' water bowl to make sure it hadn't sucked it dry.

nothing

I went back and got in bed after making sure Nathanga was breathing and all the dogs were ok. I hadn't seen Maddy but sometimes she sleeps under the bed.

UNDER THE BED!

right about then the sound came back - the wiggly giggly song, the one he sings when you squeeze his foot - RIGHT UNDER THE BED!

I knew I heard it this time and jumped out of bed - there was Boohbah being chewed relentlessly by Maddy. She had hid him under the bed for a couple weeks and had been gnawing him to bits but he was still alive!

I put maddy in the cage and snuggled boohbah in bed with me. and slept.

booba?

My little boohbah is gone bye bye. I looked far and wide over hill and dale (is that dell?) Who's Dale? Whose dell is Dale in? This isn't a Dell, It's a custom-built gamer with a Soyo Moboand a tricked out GC.

Where did my boohbah go?

I searched high and low. I wasn't really high - maybe a little under the weather, but not intoxified in any way whatsoever. Whatever.

Has anyone seen my boohbah? My Maddy was playing with him - they had such fun plaing helicopter and tug of war and "shake the guts out of the boohbah". The other dogs watched Boohbah and Maddy play - they liked the way he sang!



But boohbah ran away. My dogs said he farted and flew across the house to an undisclosed destination. An infestation. The boohbah has hidden in my walls.
Skittle said Maddy ate Boohbah - Maddy said "don't be silly"

Skittles and Maddy have started to play now!



My wife said boohbah went to the boohbah land in the sky - but I know that's not true. Boohbah land is in the tv not in the sky, Oh My!

Where has my Boohbah gone? How will I carry on?

Has anybody seen my Boohbah??

Has anybody seen Maddy?

Boooohhh Baaaaahh

The boohbah is a pleasure to have around. It's constant musical interludes are welcomed by all, except...

Matti is almost a year old. We adopted her at Christmastime and she has been the center of our family life ever since. I'm not quite sure whether it was simple jealousy or the fact that the boohbah has been chattering away nonstop for the past three days, but suddenly, without provocation, the fearsome 12 pound canid launched a merciless attack upon the unsuspecting, lighter than air lemon fluff.

Boohbah!

Tonight we left Nathanga at home with his Tron and schnuck out to get my boohbah!



I like my boohbah and my boohbah likes me. See how yellow he is - he sings and dances and farts like there's no tomorrow! He fills right up with air and PLBBBBBBBBBBBB - he flys across the room. Please help save the boohbahs! Some mean men are selling boobah fur for womens clothing While other inhumane meanies slaughter the boohbahs to serve in Chinese restaurants. New footballs are made from Boohbah colon (because it is so strong, stretchable and holds air so well) - I am planning on boycotting NFL games until Bulb Ceiling or whoever is in charge of those monsters in the NFL puts a stop to the insanity!

I wil not watch or even attend a pro football game until at least next August! If you are willing to keep this pledge with me let me know! I think we can get everyone in America to stay away from NFL Games for the next six months! Help me get the word out - SAVE THE BOOHBAHS!

Ding Dang Newfangled whatchamajigs

Well I haven't been on in a while because the box i put a new MoBo with high end graphix card and gigs O'Ram sudenly went belly up. The fans all spin but it won't beep nor spit nor nothing.

I have been so busy with our get-ready-for-spring push that i don't have much time to take it apart. and of course the pcmcia cardbus isn't recognizing cards at all - I've tried two different wireless and two different ethernet cards - it recognizes on elan card but won't load th drivers.

So it looks like time to do a little computer shopping.

Oh, In case you're in North Myrtle on a wednesday night you can get a half price nannersplit (if you bring your own nanner) at the Marble Slab Creamery in Gatorhole Plaza.

Tasty!

Ossie Davis, a Class Act

By HILLEL ITALIE, Associated Press Writer

NEW YORK - Ossie Davis, the actor distinguished for roles dealing with racial injustice on stage, screen and in real life, has died, an aide said Friday. He was 87.

Davis, the husband and partner of actress Ruby Dee, was found dead Friday in his hotel room in Miami Beach, Fla., according to officials there. He was making a film called "Retirement," said Arminda Thomas, who works in his office in suburban New Rochelle and confirmed the death.

Davis, who wrote, acted, directed and produced for the theater and Hollywood, was a central figure among black performers of the last five decades. He and Dee celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in 1998 with the publication of a dual autobiography, "In This Life Together."

In Miami Beach, police spokesman Bobby Hernandez said Davis' grandson called the police shortly before 7 a.m. when his grandfather would not open the door to his room at the Shore Club Hotel. Davis was found dead and there does not appear to be any foul play, Hernandez said.

Davis had just started his movie on Monday, said Michael Livingston, his Hollywood agent.

"I'm shocked," Livingston said. "I'm absolutely shocked. He was the most wonderful man I've ever known. Such a classy, kindly man."



-----------

Ever see the movie The Hill? He was great in that!

Pixar Does it Again!

Just when you think Hollywood was finished making good movies.

We took Nathanga to see the latest cartoon-type picture, I brought along Carl Hiaasen's Lucky You
and led keychain light, just in case. I didn't even pull the book from my pocket.

First off, I saw the Pixar logo - It had been a while since Finding Nemo, so that was a refreshing sight. As with all Pixar pics - we star with a short. It's called Boundin' It has a sheep and it's funny - Didn't want to spoil it for ya.

I won't tell you anything about the plot of The Incredibles because I hate it when people do that. What I will tell you is that it is completely original and, as always with Pixar, perfectly animated! Although Disney as a corporation is a far cry from what Walt had intended, Pixar has emerged as the resplendent Jewel on the rhinestone-encrusted Disney Crown.

Pixar has only released six films, beginning with Toy Story. They take their time - and with good reason. These films are uniquely designed and finely crafted. The female characters are not perversly oversexed as with Disney's "family movies" like Alladin and Little Mermaid. The plots are deep and well thought-out, yet simply presented. Layered like an onion - Kids get the laughs and adults giggle at the more advanced themes. Then when Kids grow up they will look back at the film and think, "Was that in there when I was a kid?"

Pixar's graphic presentation is so unique that you immediately take notice. The 3-D effect is not gimmicky - It just adds detail to the story.

The Incredibles was Directed by Brad Bird, who gave us Do the Bartman. Bird has worked on Animated series like The Simpsons, King of the Hill and The Critic You might also remember The Iron Giant
- Yeah, he wrote and directed that, too.

The world we enter on this journey is just plain fun - perfectly crafted, richer than double fudge and deeper than Socrates. It's one of those movies you just wish you could be in. Twice I got up and dove into the screen in an attempt to enter that world. I was bruised but not discouraged. The Story is fun for kids but has the depth that forty-something superheroes like myself will appreciate.

I urge you to watch this in the Moviehouse - it's too big to be fully appreciated in your living room. The kids in the audience laughing and even toddlers talking about the things they notice add to the experience.

I would also buy the DVD when it comes out.

March Spring Break Events

This is an excerpt from the Myrtle Beach Events Calendar just so we know What's happening in March.

March 10 - April 24
Spring Break in Myrtle Beach
When Spring Break is brought up one thing comes to mind: the beach. And, what better place to visit a beach on Spring Break than the town named after one. Myrtle Beach boasts 60 miles of beach front to allow for everyone to fit, nicely, into the fun. Enjoy all your hours soaking up the sun and water, or visit one of the other many attractions. Whether through golfing, amusement parks, or the traditional beach, Myrtle Beach has spring fun for all.

Mar. 10 - 13
National Shag Dance Competition
Every spring Myrtle Beach becomes host to the National Shag Dance Competition, and the cult-like following that comes with it. If you're looking to merely soak in the sights and sounds that is perfectly fine. And, if you're looking for a dance competition that can truly showcase your talents this is a can't miss opportunity. Past winners have gone on to appear on television shows such as "Good Morning America".

Mar. 12
17th Annual St. Patrick's Day Parade and Festival

The Myrtle Beach St. Patrick's Day Parade and Festival kicks off at 9 a.m. with a parade. After the parade has come and gone the fun isn't over though. With two entertainment stages, a children's area, and a number of arts and crafts vendors the fun will go on and on. Come for the parade, stay for the festivities, and relax in the comforts of Myrtle Beach.

Mar. 12 - 20
The Canadian-American Days Festival
This action pack week on the beach is, in part, to show a hospitable hand to Canada. This doesn't mean the average American can't enjoy themselves during this festive week. With a shag dance competition, international kite fest, little olympics, and a YMCA soccer invitational as just the starting off point for the Can-Am Festival this is sure to be a week for all to enjoy.

If you plan on coming and want to share your spring break pics - send 'em on and we'll make sure everybody sees them.

One of our faithful readers recieved this response from Mary C. Gurrola of Firehouse Subs

Dear Dr. XXXXX,

Thank you for your email and for letting us know of the unfortunate
placement of our inflatable fire hydrant at our Gator Hole store. It can
be said that we make an awesome sub but just like anyone else we can
sometimes be insensitive to the needs of others. We are glad you made us
aware of this before any more time went by so we could insure no
disabled person was inconvenienced.
We instructed the owner of the store to take the inflatable fire hydrant
down immediately which he has done.

Again, thank you for bringing this to our attention.

Sincerely,

Mary C. Gurrola
Guest Relations Liaison
Firehouse Subs Restaurant Group, Inc.
800.388.3473
mgurrola@firehousesubs.com

Thank you Firehouse for handling this in a timely manner - You didn't have to remove the Hydrant altogether, you could have jut moved it from the handicap parking space!

Firehouse subs snubs Bubs with hubs

Firehouse Subs has blocked access for the disabled.


The restaurant chain has a new marketing gimmick - the twenty-foot-tall fireplug.

Great Idea - as long as you're not setting the thing up in a handicapped parking space.

Not only did they use the space, but they covered the parking marking with extra cement block (were they trying to hide the marking? ) they used the signpost to designate this spot as parking for the disabled to tye down the big hydrant.

Full Story here



Feel free to email them and let them know how you feel about this.

this happened - really!

Strolling through the Bass Pro Shop tonight I was taken aback. Not shocked but befuddled. Right there on the aisle was a stack of boxes piled shoulder high. On each box in big letters was a phrase I had never seen before. I skidded to a halt and spun around to make sure my eyes were not fibbin. As I looked at Seachele I noticed that he had a smile on his face, too.
We went back and sure enough there was a stack of the miracle product for the new millenium.
"Jerky Master"

The End of Christmas

Today i finally got all the ornaments and trees and "special tablecloths" and "Christmas towels" and vests and sweaters and sweatervests and lights back up in the attic.

And i'm not bringing them back down.

I'm serious. Not like the end of Remembering Christ's Birth. Just the end of the nonsense. It takes almost a week of dragging things down from the belfry; procuring more bedazzlers from the apothecary; stringing up the palm trees with electric enflasherizers and gold-plated bobble-ooms. Then for the next month you're expected to buy presents for everyone you've had contact with for the last 11 months.

Why can't we just show the Love of Christ all year and spend one day a year in reverent honor and rememberance.

Next year I'm not buying anything for anyone. I'm not going to listen when "multi-cultural diverse persons" tell me "happy holidays".

I'm going to say, "Merry Christmas". I'm going to sing Carols - not generic winter jingles. I'm going to put up a nativity and nothing else.

Ok done with rant - generic salutations to all, goodnight

First Person Shooter

I just discovered the best thing since actually running around and killing terrorists!

Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six 3 - I have never had so much fun with a video game! Nathanga got it for me this Christmas and i have played it every day since. From the planning to the execution (including all the heads up display),
RB6 offers more choices, great live play, realistic play and graphics.

Missions vary but are around the basic idea that you are a member of an elite anti-terrorism squad and you get to blow away bad guys, disarm bombs, rescue hostages, and basically save the free world every day.

The first time you get killed is unbelievable - I never saw it coming - I was just dead! But you get to take control of other team members until they're all dead then try again.

I use a tracball so shooting is really easy but if you use a wheelmouse you can open doors better. I just throw open and go in blasting so i don't need to be that fluid but make your own choices. My advice is to ad a third team to the first level and play as that team (single member) then follow the other teams in until you get used to moving.

After a few runs you get the basics but you will keep learning for a long time with this baby!

Play and have fun - If you want to help with Seachele's Handcycle

Myrtle Beach Christmas

Talk about "Gift of the Magi" - I had put a lot of money into an account my wife never keeps money in. to buy her a Handcycle. She had been feeling ill and had not been shopping without me since October so I was sure she would not go into that account.

A Christmas Miracle! My Mom and Sister came into town to "take care of SeaChele" - Translate "take shopping"

She spent the whole lot on Nathanga and the pups - not to mention a new pup! So that when I went to write the check for the Handbike , there was nothing there!

Oh, well! She had a good time shopping and nathanga enjoyed his new computer equipment. So It will be w little while waiting for her Christmas present unless you help!

Spring Break - ge'in re'y to ge' down

We are getting ready for spring break - colleges from all over will be here "gettin busy" or whatever they do these days - I still remember when we used to "boogie".

Do they still Get Down? Now when i get down it's uaually because my back hurts and the floor is a good firm surface to get the kinks out. Kinky used to be Afro hair (which is now called natural, but at one time was nappy) but then somehow kinky became bad. Bad became good for a while but was replaced by fatt or phat - not to be confused to be fat which was ok but now is very bad. Is that good?

In conclusion - if you need a good place to party try Spring break Myrtle Beach

If you need a little help look at :

Bloated Bum

Yeah, I finally slowed down long enough to write. Had to. Couldn't move with all this turkey in me. And more to go ...

It's been a crazy month with Wifey illin' and just now gettin back in the saddle. But we're all thankful for her dazzling recovery and her impending greatness.

Just for those who were expecting big presents for me or want me to pay you back, - It'll be at least January!
sit tight, Dudes.

where, oh where has my li'l dingy gone?

where has my lil dingy gone

Oh where oh where could it be?

ok so we have just realized that 14 minutes worth of macrame has gone to the dogs. back up come the binoculars to capture the essence of Brian's cunundrum sinking in to his fuzzy head.

It wasn't long before he came ambling down the dock, a bounce in his step and his tank top flailing away. When he got to the place where the dingy had been a huge, nervous smile spread across his melon. This was better than candid camera!

Brian casually looked from one end of the dock to another, hoping that his extremely fragile reality was not finally beginning to crumble. he peered over to us but we were concealed beneath the bimini and completely out of earshot anyway, so there was nothing we could do - except roll around the deck in fits of hilarity.

Brian actually worked pretty good in a crisis situation. He walked out to the fuel pumps at the end of the dock and asked if they had seen the dingy (i can only suppose, we actually have no idea what the conversation was). we were waiting for him to call over on the radio but i think he was too embarrassed (or too intimidated by the electronics involved) to contact us.

he stayed in the fuel hut for quite a while. eventually he was escorted down the dock by a west indian in a red t-shirt. The red t-shirt kept making motions with his hand s which conveyed "i have no idea where it is. No, i haven't seen anyone leaving the island in a dingy with a greeeeen moata!"

then the red t-shirt pointed across the bay to the dingy's new position. "is thaat ya booat, mon?" his fingers asked.

brian looked and turned back to the red t-shirt. "How could that be my boat? I'm ... I'm sure that....I mean... I know i didn't park it there. I guess it could be my boat but i ... i tyed that thing up over here" he must have said.

after more armwaiving by red and more rocking by brian he finally walked along the beach in front of pusser's to the other dock. he inspected the dingy, not wanting to be locked in a third world jail for pilfering a boat which wasn't his.

after deciding that "well it looks like our dingy... i mean it has that SeaBreeze on the side there and that ... i think i recall that was the name of the company we rented the boat from.... or was it caribbean travel network? i seem to remember that when i was trying to get a train ticket to the caribbean that chesty gave me a number to a woman... i think i remember her name was rena.... i wonder what she looked like?... let's see caribbean travel network was the place we got the tickets... yeah, ok then i guess SeaBreeze was the company we got that boat from.

well, lets see... it has got the green motor and i remember i cranked it up and that motor was green....."

he looked around and noone was chasing after him so he must have assumed it was our boat.

now how would he let the rope go and crank the motor without drifting out to sea?

he did return and later that evening we found out that the young sailor tying the dingy up earlier was in fact roe's brother pete. - he had seen brian come to the dock and thought it would be a neat trick. he and will had watched from the deck of pusser's with the entire restaurant and been laughing just as hard as we were.

guilt finally forced me to tell brian the truth, 3 days after we returned home.

Dingy Boy ties one up

Today we relive Brian's dingy expedition!

It's day 12 - we have sailed from Cooper Island to Leverick Bay on Virgin Gorda. The crew has gone ashore for supplies and returned minus the captain (still Roe- no mutiny as of yet) who is under a palm tree reading Don't Stop the Carnival.

After a couple hours the radio crackles to life. The skipper needs a dingy ride back to the boat. I look at Brian and give the command, "fire up the dingy - the skip needs you, miboy"

Brian is a "special" tenant of ours and by this time in the trip we have grown accustomed to his barklike noises, abnormal meal habits, strange hygiene habits, lack of clothing, habit of slapping his chest, generally his overall weird behavior.

But the one thing that no one could accept was his indecision. When we said "Brian, pull the red rope" he would look at it and say "well... This one is kinda white with red stripes... I mean I could pull this one but I'm not really sure its red or..."

then he sort of rocks a little bit looking for approval.

"pull in the *&#$ rope!"

he puts his hands gingerly on the rope and stares at the winch around which it should be wound.

"sit over there! #$@%%^&*&&*^^%$!"

then someone would do his job as he fidgeted in his seat.

Now he is faced with being alone in a 12 foot boat (with an engine that stalls occasionally) in a harbor where the wind is lightly puffing out to sea. His mind is reeling with possible tragedies.

"get in the dingy and go get Roe. You've driven the dingy with jack in it. You know what to do. Get in and I'll untie you when you get it cranked."

"Ted - do you want to go with me?"

"get in and go. It's right there - 200 yards. You swam that far the other day!"

rock, rock, rock

"I'll go" said Ted fearing that his fraternity brother would die of starvation on the dock of a four star resort waiting for rescue.

They get in and, with Ted acting as ballast, they motor ashore.

As the dingy comes back to the TI-COYO , Roe is standing at the bow (like ponce de Leon in search of the fabled fountain) and Ted is sitting at attention (big smile on his face) on the center seat as Brian manuvers the "greeeen moata dingy" to the stern of the TI-COYO.

I stand to offer any assistance they may need and Roe holds up a foreboding hand. "Brian is doing this on his own - no help from anyone"

He successfully gets to the back of the TI-COYO and all passengers deboat (like how the stewardess has you "deplane"). Congratulations are offered to Brian and everybody settles down to a nice lunch of beans and rice.

Suddenly Roe “remembers” that he has forgotten bait and asks Brian to go back to the store and buy some.

Then he tells Brian to go get some bait.

Then he orders Brian to go get some bait.

"you've done it several times, I won't accept no as an answer!"

Brian slowly makes his way into the dingy and as he turns around to ask (for the nine hundred and fourteenth time) how to start the engine, Roe let go the line and sends him adrift.

A look of panic came across his face and he couldn't decide whether to :

1. jump out of the dingy and swim for the boat hoping that a giant tuna with rabies didn't devour him on the way.

2. try to throw the line back to Roe so he could hold on to it as he took 45 minutes to crank the motor

3. crank the motor and go to shore.

4. just sit there until he reached Havana where Cuban whores would drag him ashore and fulfil his wildest dreams while sending him straight to hell for fornication.

We got the binoculars out and watched as Brian sailed off into history.

He cranked the motor and made it safely to the dock. After arriving he spent the next 14 minutes tying the vessel up. Then he rechecked his knot; looked at how the other dingies were tied; double checked his knot making sure that a hurricane wouldn't blow it away as he went to the market; looked around to ensure no pirates were about; checked the sky for coming hurricanes; checked his knot; smiled, having full assurance that he had done it with no disasters.

As he walked off to the store he swatted himself on the back with his tank top repeatedly. He says it makes him feel “normal”.

A few minutes passed and I noticed the ease with which some young sailor secured his dingy to a different dock, some hundred yards away - funny how I didn't notice him coming into the harbor.

Another ten minutes passed. Brian sure was taking his time getting bait.

Then Roe, who had been staring intently at the dock, asked "where's the dingy?"

A quick search affirmed it was not where Brian had left it. An easy look to the next dock confirmed my suspicion that whoever had tied that dingy hadn't come into the harbor with it. It was our dingy – somehow it had come undone and drifted across the harbour!

to be continued…