The Fun Never Stops

Then came senior week.


This is a gang of kids from West Forsyth High School! Enjoyin' the wide, sandy beach in front of the summer sea Inn

Moanster Truck

Today on the way home I followed a "monster truck" down Ocean Boulevard. This thing was seventy thousand dollars worth of small penis compensation. Not only did he have the five-foot-tall tires and body lift kit (requiring a ladder which unfurled when the doors opened); the thing was powered by a full-scale cummins diesel with twin three inch smoke stacks towering up behind the cab.

As I followed, I couldn't help but notice the purple tailgate emblazened with the obligitory airbrushed fantasy girl. Painting the fantasy girl on the ole tailgate is a sure way to safegaurd against ever having an actual girlfriend ride up front on the bench seat.

I patiently followed as the humongous "offroader" whined through the gears up Ocean Boulevard. I pondered the price of diesel fuel and how much the trip to Myrtle Beach cost this guy. I marveled, as I sat at the Main Street stoplight, how big the tires on that thing were; how deep the tread was - obviously designed for traction in deep mud and other treacherous terrain. The owner of this vehicle was prepaired for any circumstance, from quicksand to a line of abandoned cars that needed crushing.

About this time I was startled as the big trucked swerved violently into the oncoming lane as we passed the Ashworth. My lightning-quick reflexes prepared for whatever calamity lay ahead. Was it a downed motorcyclist? a wayward child wondering into traffic? What was it that the monster truck left its lane to avoid?

A gravel patch where the road had been repaired.

Be Amazed at my power!

This kid has the ability to make a dog float in the air but can't pick up his socks - explain that!


No - just showing off My son's ability in photo editing. He's putting up his own website and i wanted to share this with you.

It was sad to hear that Felix Unger Died - But that ole geezer lived a life, didn't he?

He left behind a wife and two kids (7&5)- His first wife of 54 years was as he described it "the only woman I ever saw".

If you have never had a TV - Tony Randall played the role that Jack lemon made famous in The Neil Simon Film The Odd Couple.

Normally a TV show that was based on a movie is a poor facsimile. The only other one was M*A*S*H that came from M*A*S*H (the movie)

When true carafsmen like Mr Randall leave this world it's always a little sad, but it gives us the opportunity to relive the days of old and review their work.

I'm so glad that he felt the love of fans right up to the end of his life - he made numerous appearance on broadway and even on David Letterman. - A True Showman that never stopped living life ot its fullest....

Beefcake!

Bubbles! My wife just remided me of my before pic. Before I went on Atkins she snuck into the bathroom while i was having a bubble.



This is me in all my glory at 250 pounds!

haven't slept much

Our son has been wakened nightly with coughing fits for the last week. Last Thursday as Michele was cleaning the Ionizer

all seemed right but then upon replugging the unit it failed ot work.

"Dang" says she.
Mesay "i'll fixer"
uh- oh
nono

Durn thing won't work.
"Dang!" sesame
"Durn!" sesashe

So i'm on the emailerizer and wing ding to the folks at Kaz who handle our Air Purifier and shesay "dang, man - wefixer. Boxer uppen sinner in"

So I did.

But what with the shippin' and all it has been nearly a week without the Ionic Pro Air Purifier and the boys lungs are fillin' up with doghair and whatnot.

going to sleep.

if yer kid's a lergic - delergify him with a Ionic Pro Air Purifier.

nuff said

Here they go! Bike Week 2004

Aside from all the noise there are some things that the drunkies enjoy - Today we take you to the two biggest "biker" bars in town

H.D. Spokes on the north end
SBB down south - yes it stands for Suck Bang Blow Which would normally be considered improper for a gentleman to say in mixed company, but we're talking internal combustion.

Now - here's the thing that always makes me wonder: Thousands of people ride motorcycles a few miles out of town and down untold shots of alchohol and kegs upon kegs of beer. Then stumble out and "mount their iron horses" to ride around in various states of inebriation. OK - this seems like their choice right? not legal but who cares, you're not at home, you're in Myrtle Beach and nobody from home is here to see your brains splattered all over the road.

HERE'S THE PART I DON'T GET!

Escorting these drunken motorcycle enthusiasts out onto the highway; stopping cars to ensure the bikes get on the road and rolling without falling over- are a couple hundred of Horry County's finest. The ones you'd think would be trying to get drunks on bikes off the road.
It seems that a widely accepted notion is that "gettin on a Harley sobers you up"

Right now my son is watching a movie and i can't believe what it is.

The Breakfast Club

Remember this movie? Are you old enough? It's still as good as ever. I am feeling all the things it conjured up when i was a kid and now my son is glued to to the tube.

He has the his gameboy in his hand but is not the least bit interested in the game. I remember laughing, crying and dancing in the aisle when i first saw it.

Simple Minds!

Ain't it funny that Anthony Michael Hall was the little nerd but grew up to be a real life steriod-shooting blowhard?

If you haven't seen it, or haven't seen it for years - pick up a copy and remember which character you were then and who your kid is today.

That was the beginning of "the brat pack" and John Hughes's second of many films with Molly ringwald and Anthony Michael Hall.

Memories...

And about those iraqi prisoners

Ok htose soldiers should be punished for breaking protocol - BUT C"MON!!! They had to be nekked for a little bit. Even on their best day in Saddam's army they weren't treated as well as we treated them, Why the heck do you think they were falling all over themselves to surrender?

Nobody was killed. There was no starvation. No one had a bruise. Not one prisoner needed a bandaid.

These were the thugs that were killing our soldiers right before they were captured.


Nobody was killed. There was no starvation. No one had a bruise. Not one prisoner needed a bandaid.

ok a few soldiers went a little over the line.

Nobody was killed. There was no starvation. No one had a bruise. Not one prisoner needed a bandaid.

There is no evidence that suggests there is a vast network of genocidal maniacs throughout our army.

They want Rumsfield to resign?

Nobody was killed. There was no starvation. No one had a bruise. Not one prisoner needed a bandaid.

ok I'm done.

Bike Week, Schmike week

Well, it’s time again for the loudest week of the year. I say “week” but today they rolled in and will be here for at least ten days. If you live near or have even ever heard of Myrtle Beach you probably know what I mean.

BIKE WEEK

Harleys have been steadily rolling past my office since about 8:30 this morning. I am going home early today. Don’t get me wrong – I have nothing against motorcycles. I have ridden many and enjoy the thrill of the open road. I don’t like Harley Davidsons.
They are based on an antiquated design that is underpowered, overloud, leaking, rattling, obnoxious and is loved by people who enjoy people noticing that they are on a motorcycle more than riding a motorcycle.

I get a big kick out of these “bikers” that come down to “bike week” in SUVs with trailers on them. A couple hours after arriving they get a team of people to help them get their “bike” out of the trailer and park it in front of the house. Then they spend the next week riding a few minutes between stops at bars where they cackle and crow for hours. When it’s all done, they pack their “bikes” back into their trailers and get into their family car and turn on the A/C and the stereo and roll up the windows to insulate themselves from the road on the trip home.

Then they have the audacity to look down their noses at a couple guys who show up with a duffle bag tied to the back of their BMW or Honda. These are the ones who enjoyed 8 hours cruising from New York or Michigan or wherever, wind in their face wheels on the road.

It’s not so much the Harleys that piss me off as much as the holes planted on them. Many of these people (I know a few) abandon their school age children for a week – telling them that grandma would like to have them visit; or “wouldn’t it be nice to have a sleepover at Jamie’s for the next nine nights?”

Every bike week we average more deaths per day by motorcycle wreck than the military has by Iraqi bomb over the last two years. Still we have no uproar over having bike week be called off – Maybe it’s because soldiers are more valuable to the U.S. than a-holes.

Terrorists best friend

I'm sitting in a tanning salon right now using their wireless connection for free!

Pretty cool, huh? well it would be if we didn't have a couple thousand alqueda agents looking for easy places to keep in touch with the wackos at base.

If you have a wireless connection in your home, you open yourself up to hackers and make it easy for bad people to get away with internet communication without paying and without getting caught.

Lock it up!!!!

use wep at the very least or better yet lock out all but named mac addresses.

Oh wait, I'm getting a transmission.....


Aha! I've opened up the shared hard drive - It's not the tanning salon's network, but rather the nightclub next door. Let me see what kind of info they have...

You see the direct threat to the wireless router owner is the info on your own network. This isn't what the terrorists are interested in, htey just want a anonymous way to share info.

According to NewsFactorNetwork.com , "Security officials in government and private industry agree that the Web is heavily used by terrorists such as Osama bin Laden and other extremist groups, including Middle East terror organizations Hezbollah and Hamas."

The chances that a terrorist is stalking your home or business are probably low, but so are the chances you'll be involved in a car wreck, killing or disabling you for life - Do you wear a seatbelt?

The process is simple and instructions come with the wireless router or access point. It takes about five or ten minutes and could keep a bad person from doing bad things.

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” (Edmund Burke)

Do something - lock down your wireless!

Big Breasts

Came home with thunderstorms threatening. Rushed in and grabbed some chick

en breasts out of the fridge and fired up the grill. I use Charcoal - sorry Hank. And i light real charcoal without lighter fluid in the tube



Just put some newspapers and what not under, light it and the physics take over. Tonight I grabbed the paper towels Michele had used when cooking bacon in the microwave for her lunch and put them under the tube - kavoom! chicken on the grill in no time.

Big Juicy breasts slow cooked to perfection over 100 percent wood charcoal fire! Topped of with brussel sprouts in butter sauce. Now I'm happy! I'v almost forgotten that we'll have a couple thousand college kids invade us this weekend for the Duke Week Craziness

Bowling, Bowling Bowling

Yesterday Natey got a bowling ball at the yard sale and had to try it out today. We were up at 7 am and ready for the day installed Nate's new wireless card.

Go wireless yourself.

He started looking up cheats for his game cube right away. Remember when cheating was frowned upon? Now the kids think a cheat is a reward for google-izing. Google Eyezing used to be what led to babies being made. "Stop making Google Eyes at that Henderson girl before she ends up having a baby!"

So after a few hours of movies watching - might i reccomend:
Lone Star State of Mind

We ate some popcorn and mopped the floors; sent the boy out for a poop patrol and off to the Bowling Alley we went. First game i started out getting my butt beat ny a 12-year-old and a cripppled lady. But I came back to whipp up on them both - Booyeah!!

ok so then we went to the beach and came home.

time for soem low carb beer and a pillow!

WAIT!! first it's THE SIMPSONS

Garage sale action

So after spring cleaning out all the junk we couldn't possibly wear, use or play with anymore, we headed down to the Possum Trot rec center for the 1st annual community garage sale.

Up at five and set up for business by 7, we eagerly awaited the first customer. A couple browsed by and asked about our old barstools. They decided to come back. Twenty two seconds later a lady snagged them up - the race was on! Folks started sorting through our prized possessions; they bickered over prices and and browsed through pre-read books, asking whether or not each one is a good book. Hillary Rodham Clinton's tale of villages and children was bypassed several times. Spy novels were rehashed and I got a few recommendations of authors I havent read.

In just a few hours we made more than a full weeks salary and enjoyed the company of our neighbors. What we didn't sell we dropped by the helping hand on the way home.

Now to buy more stuff!

Get out of the left lane!!

I drive five miles to work each day. For Four of those miles i am cussing like a sailor. I suppose i should just sit back and enjoy what's on the radio but i can't. It's not that I hate old people, or stupid people, or old, stupid people I just want things to be right.

In almost, if not every state in the union there is a law which prohibits driving in the left lane (with the exceptions of passing slower traffic and turning left). I know it is the law in SC. So why is it that these normally law-abiding citizens who, for reasons unknown, have survived for fourscore and too many years should flaunt the law and defy the right minded, hard-working folk who try to remind them (via the flashing of lights, tooting of horn and various hand signals) that their anti-social behavior is akin to those of al queda.

It is the goal of terrorists to destabilize our way of life; to break our steady march of progress. Let them send their bombers and kalashnikov-toting maniacs. We can handle all they can send and more; but these fiendish slowers-down of our economy, these leaches who no longer have jobs, living off those who produce - with their social security and their Medicare; these are the true danger. Poking along in the left lane - keeping vital shipment for industry mired in traffic, they slog along, their blinkers indicating eminent changes of direction confusing workers on their way to and from the engine of our economy.

I say to better the American way of life we must unclog the arteries of our nation! I urge each and every one of you to flash your lights, honk your horns and give the appropriate hand signals to those who tie up our left lanes.

Spring Break Has Started!

Well the kids are here and more are on the way! The weather has worked well for us this week. We also have a new wireless internet provider on Second Ave S. Dragnfly has a center at second Ave S. The signal goes all the way to the Fairfield at 5th ave S. and the beach at second Ave is hot! So if you have a wireless laptop and wat to get access - head to Second Ave South in North Myrtle Beach

Don't forget your sunscreen!

The joys of parenting a future beach bum

My son is 12 - his teachers at North Myrtle Beach Middle School tell me he is one of the smartest kids they have in class. But he takes after me too much. Builds the most complex legos and bionicles you could imagine but can't turn in his math homework.

He does the work, i put the paper in his hand as i send him towards the school, then something happens and the homework doesn't show up on his teachers desk.

"why didn't you turn in your homework?"
"i don't know"
"Don't you want to pass the class so you can surf this summer instead of going to summer school?"
"yes"
"Then turn in your homework!"
"dad, did you see my newest bionicle can lids? they snap together to form a ball"
"hey neat, son can i do that?"

Amherst College

tomorrow we send the mailout to amherst college then friday yale goes into play. Myrtle Beach will see a surge in college activity this year!


North Myrtle Beach will have volleyball tournaments and kayak trips. It's gonna be a great summer.

Look for big news coming soon!

Al Gore's big speech on Global warning:

XXXXX DRUDGE REPORT XXXXX WED JAN 14, 2004 19:39:09 ET XXXXX

GORE TO WARN OF 'GLOBAL WARMING' ON NEW YORK CITY'S COLDEST DAY IN DECADES!

In what political watchers are calling possibly the biggest gaffe in years, former Vice President Al Gore is set to give a speech tomorrow on the perils of global warming -- on what is expected to be the coldest day in New England in nearly half a century!

More


We had freakin ice all over the place today at NOON. I'm already lookin for a place in Trinidad.

Wal Mart Headache

We just got back from Smallmart AGAIN. It opened Wednesday and we've already been three times. That place is soooo LOUD! the freaking music blares away from tinny speakers while you try to shop, then every 22.6 seconds an overzealous employee screams into the intercom to block out the music "WE NEED A C.S.M. IN LAYAWAY" doodly doodle doo dooo dewwww "WE NEED A C.S.M. AT AISLE TWENTY TWO"

I was about to snap.

From Walmart.com

The North Myrtle Beach Wal-Mart Supercenter, encompassing more than 203,916 square feet of retail space and employing upwards of 425 associates, will offer customers a full line of groceries and general merchandise under one roof at Wal-Mart’s signature Every Day Low Prices.

That is a lot of store - every bit of it covered with too much noise.

Well, it is all nice and clean, that will last for a while. Right next to it is a Office Depot which is kinda neat. We ave always had to ride 30 minutes or more, depending on the tourists to get to Myrtle Beach to buy a pen.

On the bright side my new business venture is going nicely - should be set up and running well for the '04 season. Spring Break is right around the corner...

Freezing cold in North Myrtle?

This is getting ridiculous! Michele says we're gonna have to move to warmer climates! I guess we just need to put in a good woodstove next winter and throw some more insulation in the attic. We have another cold weekend ahead but it may get up to 70 next week!

Myrtle Beach is starting to come back to life. North Myrtle got it's very own Ding Dang WalMart We went on opening day and saw most everybody fromtown there. It's kind of wierd that in summer there are millions of people here but the ones that live year round are just a couple thousand.

gotta go put on another coat -> Come on SUMMER!